Last time, we explored Intrinsic Drivers (I.D.s)—the internal forces that shape our choices and identity.

But what happens when our choices don’t feel like choices at all?

What if we logically know what we want, but still find ourselves stuck in old patterns?

That’s where our beliefs play a crucial role.

Part 1: Beliefs—The Unseen Architect of Choice

If we define transformation as greater access to choice, then beliefs are the filter that determines which choices we perceive to be available to us.

Think of beliefs as lenses—they shape how we see the world, what we assume is possible, and what we consciously or unconsciously dismiss.

Part 2: Conscious and Unconscious Beliefs

We all have conscious beliefs—the things we actively think and articulate. These might include:

  • “Honesty is important.”
  • “Family comes first.”
  • “Hard work pays off.”

But we also have unconscious beliefs—deeply embedded assumptions that operate like core programming running in the background.

Some people are skeptical of this idea. But consider this: When was the last time you got out of bed and questioned whether the floor would support you?

Probably never. You step out of bed with full confidence that you will find solid ground. This is an unconscious belief.

It may seem like a trivial example, but would a child raised underwater have the same assumption? What about a child raised in zero gravity?

We have thousands of unconscious beliefs that allow us to operate in the world. They act as shortcuts, allowing us to navigate life efficiently.

Life would be a total nightmare if you didn’t believe…

  • Other drivers stop at red lights and stop signs.
  • The roof over your head is strong.
  • The food you bought at the market is safe to eat.

Every day, your behavior is steered by subconscious beliefs:

  • You instinctively drive through a green light.
  • You go to sleep without fear of the ceiling caving in.
  • You enjoy a meal without concern for salmonella.

Part 3: How Core Beliefs Form—Ego Differentiation & Discernment

If beliefs were only about the ground beneath our feet and the roof over our heads, we could probably stop right there. But we also hold core subconscious beliefs about:

  • Ourselves
  • Others
  • The World

Why Childhood Matters

From birth into early childhood, we are in an egocentric stage of development, meaning we interpret everything through the lens of our own experience. The world revolves around us.

We also absorb information indiscriminately, unable to separate external events from our internal sense of self. We draw conclusions without the ability to zoom out, forming fundamental beliefs that shape our worldview.

The brain is in a highly suggestible state. Young children spend much of their time in a theta brainwave state, which is associated with deep learning and absorption of information. Without discernment, children accept everything they see, hear, or conclude as absolute truth.

Every experience is personal. A child whose parents are frequently angry does not yet have the capacity to separate their parents’ emotions from their own sense of self. Instead, they assume personal responsibility—“I must have done something wrong.”

Part 4: How Core Beliefs Take Root

Core beliefs develop through three main pathways:

  1. Repetition:
    • Hearing “You’re so smart!” repeatedly can build confidence.
    • Hearing “You’ll never be good at sports” can create lifelong avoidance.
  2. Significant Emotional Experiences:
    • A moment of deep embarrassment or rejection can cement lasting beliefs about self-worth.
  3. Cultural & Family Influences:
    • Children absorb unspoken rules about money, relationships, and success from their family system.

Part 4: The Role of Confirmation Bias—Reinforcing Early Beliefs

Once core beliefs take root in childhood, confirmation bias ensures they stay firmly planted in the subconscious. Every setback, success, rejection, or approval is filtered through these beliefs, reinforcing them as “truths.”

  • A simple mistake feels like undeniable proof of “I’m not good enough.”
  • A small win paired with praise solidifies “I have to work hard to get love.”

Without conscious awareness, these beliefs snowball—shaping our choices, emotions, and self-perception, often without us realizing it.

In short, core beliefs limit choice.

And as we’ve discussed, choice = transformation.

Part 5: It’s Not Whether You Have Limiting Beliefs—It’s Which Ones

Typically, we’d share a client story here, but a single example wouldn’t do justice to the reality: every client we’ve ever worked with has faced limiting beliefs.

Why?

Because every leader was once a child—absorbing experiences without discernment, forming beliefs about themselves before developing the ability to question them.

Here’s a list of the most common themes we see:

Negative Core Beliefs

  • I’m not good enough.
  • I’m bad/I’m wrong.
  • I don’t deserve love.
  • I have to be perfect.
  • If I show my true self, I’ll be rejected.
  • My feelings/needs don’t matter.
  • Success requires struggle.
  • I’ll never have enough money.
  • I’m different/I don’t belong.
  • I’m not safe.

Limiting “Positive” Core Beliefs

  • I’m special.
  • I can do it better.
  • Everything is great.
  • I like to be first.
  • I love proving people wrong.
  • I want to be in control.
  • I’m strong.
  • I’m lucky.
  • I like being the underdog.
  • I already did that.

A Simple Practice: Bring Awareness to Your Beliefs

Wanting to transform your subconscious beliefs is a courageous decision, and one that needs to be handled with care.

If you’re serious about uncovering your patterns, commit to this practice and take it seriously.

This is some of the deepest work we do at PurposeBuilt.

Step 1: Create Awareness

Ask yourself:

  1. What do I fundamentally believe about the world?
    • Is the world safe or unsafe?
  2. What do I fundamentally believe about others?
    • Are others reliable or unreliable?
  3. What do I fundamentally believe about myself?
    • Am I capable or incapable?
    • Am I worthy or unworthy?

Answer with your first gut or instinctual response. Don’t try to talk yourself out of it—that’s a good way to ignore what truly lives under the surface.

For some beliefs, simply bringing awareness to them will be enough to trigger a shift. Trickier and more deeply ingrained beliefs will require deeper work.

We often hold on to limiting beliefs because we feel they in some way serve us.

This is called Resistance—the topic of our next note. 😉

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